How much is much? The other side of the coin

Today, I could finally submitted the first draft of what will be my PhD. dissertation to my Professor :D. I am looking forward for his comments ... anyway, since I am done at least for today, I felt enough inspired to blog.

==
Have you ever had to hide your feelings and emotions to the point they eat you from inside? or even worst, to pretend the opposite? Well, I am sure you have, at least I have.

A couple of months ago, I had an interesting conversation with Harriet and one of her friends (whose name I forgot, sorry!). I was telling them that from my own perception Japanese people are the most self-controlled and empathic people I have ever known, at least in comparison to Mexicans. We Mexicans tend to express our (good and bad) feelings using various gestures. Japanese people have much less gestures, in fact it is difficult to say or to guess what they are thinking or feeling, and the process of understanding this is not exactly a fast one (in my own experience). Japanese people also control their emotions much more than Mexicans do. From Harriet's friend point of view, Japanese auto-control was way too much, since they do not show their true feelings quite easily, understanding them was impossible for him.

I should point out that this person had little contact with the Japanese community, which, from my own opinion, was the main factor that made him think this way, although I tried to explain this, he insisted that his few interaction with the Japanese community was not the reason of his standpoint, but the other way around. Sadly, we could not come to an agreement, however a couple of interesting questions came up to our discussion:


Is it that, in the looking for self-control and empathizing with others, we have to hide our true feelings? to which extent can this be considered healthy? How much can we control our selves, without being unhappy and feeling prisoners of our own thinking brain?


(To be continued) :)

Emotions ... a man's worst enemy?

A while ago I heard somewhere that emotions are a man's worst enemy. Then, I thought perhaps is right, emotions weaken us, and when we actually let them to take over us, most of the time, the results are not as good as if we were thinking with a cool head. When was the last time you lost it, blowing out at someone? It would not be easier if we did not have them (emotions)? Have you ever wished not been able to feel anything, in order to avoid suffering? Can we actually get rid of our emotions?

Well, I found the right answers to my questions reading Goleman in [ref]. Apparently, there is a small part in our brains where all emotions sits, this part is the amygdala. It is because of this small tiny little thing that our emotional brain takes over our thinking brain, such a take over is called emotional hijacking by Goleman. An actually it is a hijacking. Let me explain further in the following lines.

Goleman defines emotional hijackings as "neural takeovers". A hijack occurs in an instant, and it is triggered before our thinking brains can have the chance to glimpse fully what is happening, let alone decide whether is a good idea or not. Hijacks are isolated horrific incidents that can lead even to brutal crimes. We all suffer from this in a more or less intense manner, and who is responsible? The amygdala.

"The amygdala can house memories and response repertoires that we enact without quite realizing so because the shortcut from the thalamus to the amygdala, which completely bypasses the neocortex"

... aha!! ... so in simple words, we are wired in a way that our amygdala (emotional brain) has an easy way to get through and acts way much faster than our thinking brain does. OK so we are wired to be hijacked by our emotional brain ... but what for? A good reason there must be, isn't it?

Well, yes there is a good reason for it. The amygdala is the counterpart of the hypocampus, both are a kind of memory, one is emotional and the other one is not, keeping only the dry facts of certain situation. Both are very important for us, in order to avoid non-desired-past experiences. For example, if we once had tried to pass a car narrowly on a two lane highway and had head-on collision, the hipocampus retains the specifics of the incident, such as in which section of the road the incident took place, who was with us, and how the other car looked like. But it is the amygdala that "ever after" will send a SURGE of ANXIETY through us whenever we try to pass a car in similar circumstances, and then perhaps we could drive more cautiously.

(OMG!! ever after!!! )

Another good example is the following. Have you ever experience a leap from the bed while half asleep? Some people have and actually that leap have saved them from actually falling and injury. In this case, it was also the amygdala bypassing the thinking brain. The amygdala PROPEL US to ACTION in emergencies, vital moments before our thinking brain fully register what is going on.

So ... that little evil tiny hijacker can also save us in moments of danger ...

Isn't this the fundamental reason of why we cannot be simply rational? Isn't this the reason of why we cannot be only good or only bad? Fully black or fully white?

Once again, my reasoning conforms Dr. Zimbardo theory, we can be both evil and good [1,2 ]. We are wired that way.



Picture taken from [link]

[An Escape of Emotion] Grateful

March 3th, Naha, Okinawa ...

It occurs to me that apparently Life is streamed in bits, the funny thing is that those bits are always there, but not there at the same time. It is just like the Zen philosophy, their non-existence complements their existence itself. I know, I am not making sense, and even if I explain, you might not be able to understand me.

I am like millions of people around the World, the most common person ever, who has experiment losses (material and non-material). I guess at some point in our lives, we all have to face some difficulties ... anyhow, from such things is that I have learned to appreciate life better, to appreciate the World better, what I have and, furthermore, what I have become. But I could not learned of appreciation, if I would not have to face such difficulties.

The bits that make my life alive are so simple, a "good morning", a smile of stranger, a call of a friend, a double iced yogurt in a hot day, the voice of my little nephew through the phone, a coffee mocha in a cold morning while looking the sunshine through my window (after a long cold winter), a sky dressing stars adorned with a silvery crescent moon in summer ... God! I just remember and I feel goosebumps.

It feels that life comes in bits, and every of those causes sudden joy to my heart and makes me happy .. immensely happy ... :)

Today, I am grateful because I am healthy and my family is too, because nothing worries me, and I can appreciate those small tiny bits of life, which would not exist, if there was not exist emptiness ... so I guess, although it is difficult to say it, I should be thankful for the empty and dark days too.

-ec

 Taken from [here]